Child Development

Dolphin Parenting : Interview with Dr. Shimi Kang!

Dolphin Parenting : Real Life Parenting tips from Dr. Shimi Kang!

Few days back, we had discussed about raising the “Future Fit” children and the importance of CQ (Consciousness Quotient) in raising up children in 21st century. It laid emphasis on chucking out the Authoritative Tiger /Submissive Jellyfish parenting and adopting for the “Dolphin Parenting“, to make our kids more resilient, aware, full of life skills and firm believer of experiential learning.

And today, we’re proud to host “Dr. Shimi Kang on our blog, an award-winning Harvard-trained medical doctor, and expert on the science of human motivation. Dr. Kang is the author of the best selling book -The Self-Motivated Kid and The Dolphin Parent: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids. Her research and concepts serve as the basis for the Dolphin POD centre.

With numerous questions in this mommy mind, let’s quickly jump to her visionary “parenting hacks” to make kids fit for the realistic life!

Let’s get started!

Interview with Dr. Shimi Kang :

We're in 21st century & need to blend Dolphin parenting in our lives. Read what Dr. Shimi Kang, TedX speaker & Harvard trained doctor has to say. #dolphinparent #DrShimikang #parentinghacks #parentingwin #parentingtips #newageparent #mustread

1. You’re a mom of 3 amazing and exhausting children. How did you come across the approach of Dolphin parenting?

Dr. Shimi : My research and expertise is in the science of motivation and that is the essence of dolphin parenting. Dolphin parenting is based on the science of raising healthy, happy, and self-motivated kids. It is the combination of a balanced authoritative ( firm and flexible) parenting relationship and balanced lifestyle of play, others, and downtime. This allows for intrinsic motivation adaptability and success. The dolphin gives us a powerful visual metaphor for this science based approach.  

2. Tell us something about one of your best seller book : “The Dolphin Parent: A Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Self-Motivated Kids”.

Dr. Shimi : The Dolphin Parent was one of the first books to hit the national bestseller list. I read over 900 articles and 30 books in its preparation and there are over 300 Scientific references in it. There are also a lot of personal stories from my own life as well as the lives of my patients and families. Although it took me over two years to write it full-time, I feel I have been collecting the research, stories, and perspectives through my whole life. I am grateful to so many who are involved in the process of putting together this powerful book. 

We're in 21st century & need to blend Dolphin parenting in our lives. Read what Dr. Shimi Kang, TedX speaker & Harvard trained doctor has to say. #dolphinparent #DrShimikang #parentinghacks #parentingwin #parentingtips #newageparent #mustread

3. Kids these days are over pampered and sometimes parents cross the barrier and become over protective for their children. Last day, I was seeing that a child of around 6 years was playing in the garden and while running he just tumbled. Before the child could react, his mama rushed & hugged him and she was a lot worried. They immediately decided to leave for home. Is the parental interference in all such matters must? Yes, they should be observant but shouldn’t they allow kids to have the free play?

Dr. Shimi : Free Play is the utmost necessity for 21st century success. It is the most essential to the development of CQ skills in a child. However, the parents usually confuse free play with convergent play, which restricts free association and exploration for the children. 

On the other hand free play allows children to practice trial and error. Play is child’s first opportunity to make mistakes and learn to take failure in stride. Trial and error is essential to adaptability and resilience, which are the key ingredients to human success. 

4. Due to the competitive environment, I see the benchmark of kids performances has been soaring. But is it hampering their innate development? Has the innocent childhood and life skills got lost somewhere?

Dr. Shimi :Yes absolutely! We are raising a generation of children who are over pressured for competition but underprepared for real life. By focusing so much on their external resumes or CVs, we have lost focus on internal character and values. This has sabotaged children’s internal sense of identity, values, self-motivation, health, and happiness. This is happening around the world and that is why achievement centres like Dolphin POD which focus on the most important skills needed for success are so important. 

5. One of my friend has 2 amazing kids. In the age of 7-9years, I feel they are almost into every activity and sport. Once they are back from schools, they have their lunch and get ready for their music, dance, drawing and sports classes. They have atleast 1-2 classes daily.

Sometimes, I feel, are kids being overburdened and they actually have got no time to peep into the “true self”. What have you got to say about this?

Dr. Shimi : Overprotective tigers leave their children with no opportunity for exploration. By hovering and directing in sports, academics, music, and other activity, they deny children’s natural tendencies to play and explore freely. Overprotection/ over directions stands in the way of children becoming healthy, happy, and successful in the twenty-first century. 

6. Children of 21st era are unaware of what boredom means. They are always occupied with one thing or the other. Be it games or studies or TV or other gadgets. Do you feel that we should leave kids with minimalistic approach sometimes and analyse the creativity they deal in then?

Dr. Shimi : Yes, that is why downtime is a key pillar of the Dolphin POD programs. When we unplug from our busy, distracted, world; it activates a certain neural network that improves our focus, concentration, problem-solving, productivity, and moral compass. Children who can’t be bored lack creativity, a sense of ethics, attention, focus, and resilience. However we can’t just say “do nothing” and expect children to know how to handle the feeling of boredom. We have to teach them how to be mindful, grateful, focused, optimistic and that is exactly what we do at Dolphin POD. 

We're in 21st century & need to blend Dolphin parenting in our lives. Read what Dr. Shimi Kang, TedX speaker & Harvard trained doctor has to say. #dolphinparent #DrShimikang #parentinghacks #parentingwin #parentingtips #newageparent #mustread

7. Due to corporate jobs and nuclear family cultures, most of the kids are somehow lack in the social connectivity, that we used to have when we were kids. I would like to know some techniques that would help a child to be more social, develop better communication and works in a team environment.

Dr. Shimi : The effort that goes into ‘grooming’ a child for the future and for social collaboration is one of the most important processes of a child’s life. It’s a steady process that occurs over a period of time.

Following are some techniques that can help foster social, better communication and work in a team environment-

  • Free Play: Teaches children how to bond socially and helps them develop the values of trust, sharing and fairness.
  • Consciousness Quotient (CQ) skills: These comprise of- communication, collaboration, creativity, critical thinking, contribution
  • Mindfulness: Mindfulness activity gives the child  space for self-reflection and building focus

8. Resilience ought to be taught. Somehow, we just want our children to excel and win and we forget that in that race, our kids have abandoned the importance of “efforts”. Kid are not able to accept & endure their “failures”. What is your take on building resilience and grit in kids? 

Dr. Shimi : In today’s competitive times, it seems that children are obsessed with winning and always being on top. The ability to value the process that builds towards the goal is entirely forgotten and not emphasized enough. Being resilient refers to be able to accept and endure failures. Here at dolphin POD we foster a spirit in the child to bounce back from setbacks and to forge ahead on the path of learning and improving 

9. Gratitude, a feeling that comes from the heart is lacking in children. Do you feel that Gratitude and life’s values play a big role in child development? Help us with some real time case.

Dr. Shimi : Gratitude & values play an essential role in shaping a child’s future. Fostering gratitude and strengthening core values from an early age is known to lead to success-related outcomes in an individual. An interplay between the two lend ”purpose” and “meaning” during adulthood. For instance- Consider the results of a 2005 study at UCLA on stress, in which groups of individuals were subjected to stressful tasks in a lab. Prior to the stress tests, one group was asked to reflect on personal values that were more meaningful to them, while others were not. The group that reflected on meaningful personal values had lower level of stress indicators such as cortisol (a stress hormone) in their bodies. Similarly, encouraging your child to maintain a ”gratitude journal” is a wonderful way to guide your child towards valuing community and contribution, in addition to improving health and happiness

10. How can Dolphin POD program be a turn-around for kids, wrt their CQ, Resilience, creativity, knowing inner self and life skills?  

Dr. Shimi : To do well in today’s fast paced, highly social, ultra- competitive, and globally connected world, our future leaders need 21st century skills. Here at Dolphin POD we emphasize on building these life skills which are key indicators for success and achievement. The Consciousness Quotient entails Creativity, Collaboration, communication, critical thinking and contribution. A conscious future leader understands the importance of thinking out of the box, working in a team, communicating his/her thoughts, raising poignant questions and contributing towards the world to make it a better place. 

Its time to nurture creativity in kids. Best ways to foster creativity in children #creativity #imagination #fostercreativity #positiveparenting #creativechild #development #lego #freeplay

 

Jhilmil

Quest to live the life surrounded with the charming little bundle's of joy. When they speak, I sing, When they smile, I rejoice , When they hug, I hold them never to lose, Such is my passion for these Gifts of God.

This love urged me to navigate separately from my Travel Blog & establish an "All-In-One" Blog for budding mothers. Mum's have multi-tasked this world ,with all her professional commitments , she still makes an extra effort to be a loving, caring and be an intellectual mommy! Cheers, for me too come from the same fraternity, post having a superb academics & close to 8 years of professional experience and blessed with a little one "who has indeed changed my life from Autumn to Spring";)

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49 Comments

  1. Really impressed with the interview questions for Dr Shimi Kang, it’s clear you’d put a lot of thought in this interview. I also loved the examples you provided!

    1. simplysensationalfood says:

      This is a really good interview, all the questions and points raised are so relevant to parenting and bringing up kids in this time. As much as we want our kids to do well, study get good grades we are forgetting that we are robbing their innocence and the fun of being a child.

  2. I think that every parent , soon to be parent and why not, even the ones that still don’t have a baby on the way but would like one day to have one should read her book.

  3. I totally agree with Dr.Shimi Kang that kids should be given time to explore on their own instead of parents being all over them and trying to act all-protective. And again, they should not be over-burdened with activities unless they themselves decided to do that first. This will give them room to learn to make their own decisions from a younger age.

  4. I love this interview, so many interesting information. Me i try to rise my kids with as much independence as possible and i rather trust them them give them orders. And it may be working, as i have two amazing teenagers at home.

  5. This looks like such an interesting read! I cannot wait to see what the next generation will achieve with such skills like mindfulness. So often parents will become defensive when it comes to learning new things, but I love this gentle approach!

    1. She says:

      Hi there could you please delete my above comment? Thank-you

  6. Elainie says:

    I like this way of thinking! We do need to unplug more and allow our kids’ natural creativity be released. In my daughter’s school her recess is only 15 minutes each day and that makes me so sad.

  7. Ohh I love this! I love learning about other types of parenting, I think we can all relate to this on some level. My children are very creative!

  8. It’s the first time I’m reading this term of ‘dolphin parenting’ but to be honest after I have read the interview I can agree with most of it and hopefully will put it to practice soon!

  9. It sounds like what children need in order to grow up as independent and responsible adults who are capable of surviving in the world and knowing what they need to and can do. I love the concept and it’s definitely going to benefit both the children and their parents.

  10. This is a really innovative style of Parenting. Very impressive.

  11. This is one of the most informative and useful post I have read today. I infact will like to adopt at least some principles of dolfin parenting.

  12. I haven’t heard of dolphin parenting before. The interview is interesting there is a lot that makes sense for parents to follow.

  13. I loved reading this interview. Gonna try adopting this parenting method. I know I get aggressive and over protective but I hardly ever knew that these are compartmentalized and can be switched.

  14. Wow what a lookout on parenting, I had attended her session. She was quite impressive and exactly made me thibk about the dolphin way of parenting.

  15. I must say it’s an amazing interview. Love the way you’re teaching the other parents to adapt such good ways to raising up their yound ones. Even I shared a similar post earlier 🙂

  16. To be honest, I haven’t heard of this book yet! But the way your interview went, it really looks like a great book. I will also recommend this to my friends. But first, I have to read it myself.

  17. I have never heard of Dolphin parenting before but this interview is enlightening! As a parent sometimes we tend to be over protective at times even though I know how important it is for kids to explore and learn themselves. Loved the interview!

  18. Papri Ganguly says:

    Really impressed with the interview. The concert is new and unique. I think every parents should read this post

  19. Such a great interview. I love how the questions are designed in a way that can apply to parents at different stages in their life!

  20. The interview is such a huge lesson for newbie parents. Lovely post. Keeping this book in mind for future reference. Technology and fast forward studies and the super curious minds of kids have made it clear that we need new parenting techniques and Dr Shimi is worked on it so well 🙂

  21. What a fabulous interview. I have heard so much abt dolphin. Parenting Cannot wait to read this one

  22. I heard about Dolphin parenting concept just few months ago and there are so many tips to take from this post. Thanks for sharing x

  23. Sarah says:

    Such important questions have been answered so beautifully and it’s a must read interview for all parents.

  24. What an interesting interview! Mine are 19 and 21, but I will definitely keep these tips in mind if and when I have some grandbabies. Great, great info!

  25. Sarah Hock says:

    What a great article and interview! These were some great questions too!

  26. I didn’t know about this author till I read your blog post. She sounds like someone who knows what’s she is taking about and this book would be very useful to all women.at some point.

  27. Komal says:

    It’s so hard to teach your kids to be competitive in a healthy manner while also making sure they know it’s not everything. So tough!

  28. This is one of the most interest things I’ve read lately. I wonder how does dolphin parenting differs from attachment parenting which I implement. I’d love to know.

  29. swati says:

    This interview is very beautifully covered. Dolphin way of parenting looks so impressive.

  30. I don´t have children, but I think, there a lot of useful information for parents and also for people, who work with children!

  31. That’s a very interesting and informative interview. I guess parents should read this book.

  32. Farmhouse Mama says:

    This is so interesting! Thank you for taking the time to come up with thoughtful interview questions. I love the idea of a gratitude journal that the Dr mentioned.

  33. I love the analogy of a dolphin. How sweet! And I am into getting as much parenting advice as I can so I can succeed at being a mom. 🙂

  34. Parenting is tough and its always great to seek some help. Really admire Doctor’s thought over the same. Thank you for interviewing her.

  35. jhilmildsaha says:

    The interview is quite interesting. Its great to know about an expert talk about the ways to guide kids.

  36. The interview was very interesting and I loved reading it. I also like the idea of raising self-motivated kids, something that should be considered very important in today’s age. Great article I must say!

  37. I didnt ever know about Dolphin Parenting! I am going to read this book soon. The interview is good and I have learnt new things from here. A must read for all parents

  38. Parenting has become quite stressful with present generation kids becoming so active and demanding. This book will definitely help get tips on the same. Nice interview with Dr. Shimi Kang 🙂

  39. Anagha Yatin says:

    A lot to learn here! Thanks for the thoughtful insight.

  40. Wow, I am already learning a lot before even being a parent. I am hearing it for the first time what Dolphin parenting is.

  41. Thank you for introducing me to Dr. Shimi Kang! I love the value she places on “free play” as I see “free play” as an important part of early childhood development. I am intrigued with her research and plan on reading her book.

  42. really impressive interview ! need to search for the book , my cousin is expecting her first and it will make a great gift for her !

  43. This is awesome! I actually implement a lot of these ideas into my parenting style already but I had no idea there was an official name for it. I’ll definitely be reading up on this more. I completely agree with focusing on preparing the child for real life just as much as we do for other things. Great interview!

    1. Great to know, yes we all need to read more on these Parenting styles.

  44. It is absolutely inspiring to see you put in so much of effort into the interviews. This one with Dr. Shimi Kang is one of a kind and really helpful. Thanks for sharing.

  45. Jenni says:

    I haven’t heard of Dolphin Parenting until now. I’m going to have to look it up as it sounds interesting.

  46. The interview is so impressive and every parent should read this… Really helpful.

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