Quality Time vs Quantity Time
Am I giving enough Quality Time to my child?
Am I giving sufficient time to my child? Are his Emotional and Psychological needs being met with the right amount of time he needs? But what is the right time? Being together for 4-5 hours and watching your favourite show or cooking something in the kitchen, while your child is busy playing all by himself, may be video games or watching videos?
Or we’re really short of time? Once we’re back from corporate responsibilities, we hardly have 1-2 hours to catch up with kids. But even then, notifications acts as spoilers.
You’re divided of your attentions [child and social media]! And alas, we ponder upon the lack of real time.
The best thing to spend on your children is “TIME” !!
Not to blame anyone, even I made a transition from Corporate Job. Things were really getting arduous, though I had the flexibility to work from home for most of the time. I used to be with my baby physically, but my mind used to juggle up between the revenue projections to presentations to mails. I was fulfilling my responsibilities physically without actually accomplishing the real goals. And not to forget, that mom’s guilt seemed to be hovering every moment.
I made the decision. I left my dream opportunity of joining Microsoft as well, as something else wanted me more. My baby was growing and he was in the fastest spurt of his growth, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too. If I couldn’t give him the real explorations, how could someone else do?
Its a consistent battle between the Quality and Quantity time.
Kids need Parental Touch
A child’s brain needs lots of rich experiences to understand the feelings of self awareness, morality, empathy and more. The most important learning in the initial years is via the human interaction. A child, more closer to non human things as devices will have quite differently wired neurons compared to a child in consistent proximity to human touch and feel.
So, today, what we as an individual, need to review is, Is the time we spend together really good enough? Quality time is important, but that time can be obtained if we have “Quantity time”. It is important to understand that interactions which are meaningful cannot be planned.
Meaningful moments cannot crop up in an hour of Quality time and you cannot see yourself as a parent working on the morals within that hour and hearing your child’s heart out.
Quantity is must for that Quality Time
And that’s why, “Quantity time” in necessary, to get that quality in between. Last day, we were simply strolling in the nearby garden (with no mobiles) and talking to each other and having some fun. While conversing, he suddenly came upto me and told me how one of his classmate threw away the food and informed the teacher that her food was finished!!
Stunned, though another kid did that, It reminded me that I need to ensure such actions are not done by my child. I informed the teacher so that she could help that child understand the same. It was quite conclusive, that
“Kids speak their mind, when things come in their mind, and it can never be tuned as per our schedule”.
With rising exposure, there are so many small moments in a day, which have a certain impact in their lives and personality which is being built. And hence researches have proved that spending good amount of focussed time builds kids who are confident yet empathetic, resilient yet adaptable, Intellectual yet self aware. Though many surrounding factors also impact these developments!
This is just one incidence to quote, we have had so many similar serendipitous moments, wherein we got an opportunity to help our lil baby with the real learnings. They could have gone away so easily with the blink of an eye. Well, here, I’m not saying that we need to spend a full day with children, I’m sure it will pull your hair out, lol. But the focus here is to spend good amount of time, which brings in consequential interactions with kids daily. The importance of talking to your child, has been focussed, right after the birth.
The more linguistic interactions parents have with their baby, the better is their Intellectual development. Kids who have had Good time with their parents are mentally, emotionally, Psychologically and intellectually advanced .
This is just one incidence to quote, we have had so many similar serendipitous moments, wherein we got an opportunity to help our lil baby with the real learnings. They could have gone away so easily with the blink of an eye. Well, here, I’m not saying that we need to spend a full day with children, I’m sure it will pull your hair out, lol. But the focus here is to spend good amount of time, which brings in consequential interactions with kids daily. The importance of talking to your child, has been focussed, right after the birth. The more linguistic interactions parents have with their baby, the better is their Intellectual development. Kids who have had Good time with their parents are mentally, emotionally, Psychologically and intellectually advanced .
Here are some ways to spend Good time daily together :
1.Focus on Family meals, be it just a breakfast, if you cannot afford Lunch together. Ensure that those moments are “Notifications and TV free”.
2. Ensure that you spare at least 30-45minutes reading with your child. Bring in some real life experiences (age appropriate) to enhance that learning.
3. Conversation time with free play : While your child is having his Free Play time, sit besides, observe, converse (don’t instruct, rather listen to what they have to say). It is one of the most relaxed time for kids, and you, as a parent can amplify your kids creativity.
4. Have some fun moments together “DAILY” : How about grooving on some silly moves or dancing impromptu? Why not take a stroll in the garden or include your child in nurturing your garden/plants?
5. Do some daily chores together, may be cleaning the room or the garden? or Cooking meal with some help from your child. [To me, my son sits besides me while cooking and helps me out with small things as rolling chapati’s, cleaning fruits, sorting beans and so on. And yes, we converse a lot then].
Spending a good “well focussed quantity time” creates that trust and gives you the ample chance to hold on to the “Quality moments” generated.
Share me your thoughts mama’s and papa’s. What do you think is important for kids when they are growing up? How do you give that Good time to your kids and achieve the parenting goals?